Drinking Prune Juice

Warm, no less.

I knew what Mom's advice was going to be before I called. Shit, I called for moral support because I knew where I went wrong and what the quick fix was. After all, I was under the care of a freakin' urologist for chronic UTI's in 2005. Except then, constipation was a cause of my problem and right now, it's the whole thing.

Everything was going fine, or so I thought until about 4 p.m. today when I stepped into the facilities at my office expecting to be in and out. I was still there thirty minutes later with nothing to show for it.

I'm chronically constipated because I'm chronically dehydrated. I have a hemmoriod to remind me when I've been lazy with my diet, a hemmoroid that's been oddly absent of late so I've gotten cocky. And now...I haven't had to poop this desperately and been so unable to since I was nine! I went and got Rob from work, then we drove to Tim's warehouse...every moment sitting in the car a painful one.

So, when we got to Tim's office...where Rob is helping him with a computer issue...I asked for the bathroom key and spent another half-hour trying to illeviate my discomfort and finally made due with merely lightening the load a little.

Came home and called Mom. I lived in that woman's house for 18 years; I tell you I KNEW what she was going to say.

I, however, did not expect her to insist that it be warm. I think that part might be bullshit. Then again...she did work in nursing homes for 20 years.